When Vegetarians Crash Your Cook-Out

Listen: Joni Mitchell, Miles of Aisles
Drink: Tecate or Negra Modelo

My latest posts have prompted several questions (online and off) about what to feed vegetarians at a cook-out. I can speak with some authority on this topic, since we have enjoyed many a blaze-up with the beloved vegetarian godmothers to our children. (See? Some of my best friends are vegetarians.)

Communication is critical to harmony between the carnivores and vegetarians. Initially, you must determine whether the vegetarians will vomit, turn green, or go into anaphylactic shock at the sight or smell of raw meat. One of the godmothers got a bit wobbly in the knees when she spied the tub of rendered duck fat in my refrigerator. You also should inquire whether your friends are vegan -- if so, you must also skip dairy products. If there is a 'yes' answer to any of the foregoing, consider scrapping your grilling plans and booking reservations at your favorite Indian restaurant. If you are determined to entertain your vegetarian friends nonetheless, read on.

If you are using a charcoal grill, and I do recommend charcoal over gas, then you may have to buy a new grate for your grill. Your vegetarian guests likely will not appreciate the seasoning of delicious animal fat that clings to your current grate. In fact, it's not a bad idea to keep a separate "no-meat" grate around if you think this is the start of a happy friendship. Once you have your no-meat grill ready to go, decide on the menu. I always think Mexican-style is the most fun. If you are lucky enough to live in a city with a Mexican population, go to a good Mexican grocery for absolutely fresh, steaming up the bag, flour and corn tortillas. If no vegans, also pick up some delicious crema and cotija cheese for furnishing the tacos (hell, get it for yourselves anyway -- if hysteria ensues at the sight of dairy products, that vegan might be crazy enough to rip out your herb garden in a misguided rescue operation).

What to grill? I suggest rajas, essentially roasted poblano peppers with white onions. The incomparable Rick Bayless (expert on all edible things Mexican) suggests you roast the peppers and then add a saute of onion, garlic, and oregano to the roasted, peeled peppers. I have had good success omitting the garlic and simply roasting the peppers and onions over the grill (peppers to be be peeled and seeded in the kitchen), and adding a little oil and oregano at the end. I once received a huge bunch of fresh oregano from my local CSA, which I tied with twine and hung upside down in my garage until fully dried. The freshly dried oregano was a revelation. If you're buying already dried, look for Mexican oregano -- Rancho Gordo sells it online.

You will definitely need a fresh salsa. One of my favorites is grilled tomatillo salsa. Tomatillos (actually not a tomato but a type of gooseberry) are probably the original tomates, and they are delicious. I grill a skewer of fresh tomatillos, husked and rinsed; a skewer of ordinary red tomatoes; a skewer of white onion chunks; and a skewer of fresh garlic cloves, peeled. I also grill a skewer of jalapenos or serranos, to be peeled and seeded in the kitchen. Once blistered and charred, pop all of the ingredients into a blender, and add lime juice and salt to taste. Keep it chunky -- don't over-blend. Cilantro would be a nice addition, too. The salsa should be eaten immediately, although it will keep for a day in the fridge -- but make it in real time for the show.

Note: Please use powder free food prep gloves when peeling and seeding the chiles. The best way is to toss the hot charred chilies into a ziplock bag and let them steam away for a few minutes. Remove from bag and rub outer skins with paper towels. The skin should peel away easily. Simply pull or brush away the seeds. Also, for skewers, I think it is worth the splurge to buy the stainless steel square (not round) skewers. The fact that the skewers are squared means you can turn them more easily on the grill, and the fact that they are steel means that the food cooks more quickly because of the heat from the inside.

Assembly: Crack another can of beer, with a squirt of lime for the Tecate if you prefer. Grill the tortillas, add the rajas, and top with crema and freshly made salsa. Crumble cotija cheese over the taco. Eat.

Additions that also would be delicious: (1) a freshly made pot of black beans or pinto beans; and (2) a vinegary slaw. Ideas for these additions coming soon.