The Inevitable

Thanksgiving looms. No cooking magazine, blog, or show can resist the corny prose and recipes, a la 'Let's Talk Turkey' or 'Gobbling the Gobbler.' Blech.

We are a tradition-bound family. We always have roast turkey, bread stuffing with sage and onion, mashed potates and gravy, some form of brussel sprouts with bacon or pancetta, cranberry relish, pumpkin pie, and bourbon pecan pie. Occasionally, we add fried corn or corn pudding. One Thanksgiving, I made popovers. My parents drink New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc; Spouse and I drink sparkling rose or Pinot Noir. In the morning, we eat spinach strata and drink spicy Bloody Marys (except for the children). It's really quite a pleasant way to spend a holiday. Come Christmas, we do it all again.

Here are a few things I've learned along the way. The key point is preparation. A tranquil Thanksgiving is the direct result of planning ahead. If you cannot plan ahead, make a reservation at a nice restaurant and let someone else sweat the details. Today, we discuss turkey and stuffing.

1. Buy a very good, fresh turkey - preferably heritage breed. We buy ours from Good Shepherd. If your turkey is frozen, it will need probably three days in the refrigerator to thaw. Turkey is tricky business, germ-wise. Never defrost on the counter or in cold water. The afternoon before Thanksgiving, wash the turkey thoroughly and be sure you remove all bits from the cavity (usually neck and giblets). If you don't have any homemade stock to use for moistening your stuffing and making your gravy, save the giblets for making a quick stock Thanksgiving morning. If you see something small and round with a bluish green tinge, it's probably the gallbladder. Throw it away.

The night before Thanksgiving, rinse the bird under cold water and pat dry inside and out. The chicken must be very dry. Sprinkle the dried turkey with 3-4 tablespoons kosher salt and fresh chopped sage, rosemary, and thyme. Don't salt the cavity. Place on a jelly roll pan lined with wax paper and refrigerate overnight.

On Thanksgiving morning, take the turkey out 45 minutes before you plan to put in the oven. Brush all the herbs and salt off the turkey -- don't rinse. You want the salt to draw moisture out of the skin before roasting. Massage the turkey with room temperature butter. Prepare to stuff.

2. Two days before Thanksgiving, tightly cube the best mushy white bread you can get your hands on. I favor Acme's pain de mie. Leave out all over the counters to dry and to annoy tidy Spouse.

3. On Thanksgiving morning, prepare to stuff the two cavities of the turkey. Melt 2 or 3 sticks of unsalted butter over a gentle flame. You will also bring a quart of homemade chicken or turkey stock to a boil and let cool to room temperature. Finely dice 2 or 3 yellow onions. If you don't have homemade stock, use warm salted water. Spurn commercial stock, and do not be fooled by the slovenly dictum that adding fresh herbs can render commercial stock desirable. Chop at least a cup each of fresh sage, thyme, and rosemary - remember that you may not use it all.

Put the dried cubes of butter into a large bowl or clean small kitchen bag, and add the diced onion and herbs. Also add 2 tablespoons or so of freshly ground black pepper and kosher salt. Mix well and taste to ensure you have the right balance of herbs and spices. If yes, pour the melted butter over the bread cubes and mix well. Taste. Add homemade stock to the mixture, ladleful by ladleful. You want the stuffing to be wet but not dripping. Save any leftover stock for making gravy. Once the nascent stuffing is to your taste, place into both cavities. Don't overstuff -- you want hot air to circulate in the cavities to bring the stuffing up to its proper temperature. You may secure the stuffing in the breast cavity either by sewing the cavity shut or by placing a heel of bread in the cavity to seal it, or both. I like to use a heel of bread because I can throw the heel to the hungry nibblers who plague me when I remove the stuffing from the roasted turkey. You know who you are.

4. There likely will be leftover stuffing, which you should refrigerate and convert to dressing. 'Dressing' is cooked alongside the turkey rather than in it. Be sure to refrigerate the stuffing until about an hour before the turkey is due to come out of the oven. If you have only one oven, it is possible to make the dressing after the turkey has been removed from the oven and is resting. Place the dressing in a bowl, generously squirt drippings on it, cover, and place in a 350 degree oven to warm and meld with the drippings. Continue to lavish with drippings until the dressing is piping hot. This procedure should equate to the resting time for the turkey.

5. While the turkey is roasting, watch the skin carefully. Because of the liberal butter massage, the skin will brown quickly. Be sure to cover loosely with foil until the last 15 minutes or so, to prevent burning.

6. Remove turkey from oven. Quickly remove stuffing from both cavities and keep hot. If you don't have an auxiliary oven, place stuffing in covered pyrex bowls and wrap tightly with newspaper. Let turkey rest for at least 20 minutes before carving.

Next, sides!